CHIVALRY 2.0

When was the last time a man opened your car door or offered you a seat on the bus? When was the last time a man paid the entire bill by pure generosity? It has come to my attention that gallantry and sexism have been greatly discussed in various media platforms and countless researchers, journalists and bloggers are presently sharing their strong believes concerning these taboo concepts. Is chivalry really dead?

CHIVALRY: A SYNONYM FOR SEXISM

Chivalry as well as sexism have been the subject of various studies lately. It seams that researchers are desperately trying to attest a sustainable correlation between these two concepts and force their conclusion on us. Initially, a new study out of Northeastern University in Boston says there exist two types of sexism. First, according to psychologist Jin Goh, acts of chivalry, such as offering a jacket to a cold female pal, paying for dinner, and calling a women “love” or “dear” are signs of “benevolent sexists”, while “hostile sexists” are those who whistle at women on the streets or specifically leave housework to their girlfriends. Furthermore, according to a study called “Sex Roles”, opening a door for a lady is considered as “benevolent sexism” since men doing so apparently believe women are useless and fragile, and thus necessitates protection. I actually think these studies are utterly ridiculous. What if a man is holding a door for his “love” or paying the bill only to be kind? Aren’t these acts of chivalry the reflection of ultimate politeness? If we summarize, these studies are telling us that men treating women like inferior individuals are sexist and chauvinistic, while men treating women with respect and gallantry are also sexist and chauvinistic.

FEMINISM VERSUS CHILVARY

The actual meaning of the word “chivalry” has become as absent and bewildered as the word “feminism,” and perhaps this is why these two concepts seem to be negatively criticized. Essentially, chivalry can be described as the combination of ideal knightly qualities, such as courtesy, generosity and valor. On the other end, feminism is the belief in the social, economic and political equality of both genders. It seams obvious that our society somehow has lost the sight of what these terms actually mean. Generation Y women were raised thinking they are strong and independent and thus, do not require a need whatsoever for a man. They are accustomed to pulling out our own seat, splitting the bill and opening our own doors and perceive chivalry acts as an attack to her female rights. This has all led to a post-feminist backlash, in which men prevent themselves from helping women in the fear of appearing sexist or patronizing. It has left me wondering if our fight for equality might have killed chivalry. However, the fact that I am a very independent and liberated woman does not mean that I do not want to be taken care of by a man.

EQUAL GALLANTRY

On International Women’s Day Emma Watson, UN Goodwill Ambassador for Women, discuss the act of chivalry and how it should really be consensual during a Facebook Q&A. “The key is chivalry should be consensual, both parties should be feeling good about that.” she said during a conversation encouraging men to help enforce gender equality. When asked about chivalry, she proudly admitted that she fully embraces a man who holds door for her. She added, “But I think the key is, would you mind if I open the door for you?” Watson’s argument is completely valuable: Chivalry and feminism are not mutually exclusive. However, many misconceptions about chivalry, in which men have to do the first steps while women are supposed to be won over contributes to the inequality of gender. I personally believe a blissful and long-lasting relationship is one of equals, not one based on this regressive game of control.

GENERATION Y’S LOW STANDARDS

Even though the rise of consciousness and awareness of gender inequality have helped women significantly gained rights as well as respect since the last decades, it has come to my attention that gender equality might have lowered women’s standards. Indeed, young women, especially those belonging to Generation Y, have become so accustomed to equality; they have actually allowed men to get away with the bare minimum. When we examine the situation closely, we cannot help but acknowledge the severe contrast between the standards of past generations and the ones of young people. Before the rise of unrealistic beauty standards, extreme plastic surgeries and abundant used of pornography, men were simply attracted to what women naturally represented and offered. Hence, since women allow men to treat them mediocrely, any tolerable standard in chivalry expectations has become at risk of extinction. Thus, women should definitely reexamine how they accept to be treated and define adequate standards for men to be likely to meet these standards in what they offer. Therefore, chivalry is not really dead, it just adapted itself to what being a lady has become today.

DIGITAL DATING

The notions of chivalry have mostly been implemented in courtship for the last decades persist most strongly through the concept of dating. However, in this technological society, where dating apps like Tinder and Grindr has radically transformed how we interact, has romance become outdated? Nowadays, picking up a girl for a date by knocking on a door has been replaced with a “I’m here” text; starting a relationship has been replaced with an online relationship status; compliments have been replaced by Instagram likes; conversation start ups have been replaced with “swipe left” and love letters have been replaced instant messaging. I believe that men would actually be forced to act a lot more chivalrous if we eliminate the need to substitute real interaction with social media.

In conclusion, I believe people seemed to have forgotten that gallantry is simply a common courtesy. But chivalry is more than being a gentleman; it is about being a good person no matter what gender you are. Next time you are sitting in public transport, remind yourself of the true meaning of chivalry and genuinely offer your seat to elders, disabled people or pregnant women for the benefit of our entire community.

7 responses to “CHIVALRY 2.0

  1. Hello dear, I agree with a lot of what you are saying in this post. It is sad that this generation is offended by having someone opening up the door or pulling out a seat for someone. I think it is amazing when someone shows respect and chivalry, man or woman. I think that equality is a great thing, but I also think that chivalry is even great as well.
    The digital dating has definitely changed things up. When I go on a date, I expect the man to come to the for door and knock, not text me saying, “I’m here”, while he is waiting for me out in the car.
    I agree that chivalry is a way to show that you are a good person and have respect, not only for you, but for everyone else around you. Men and women should follow chivalry.
    Yom nifla dear, xo!

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    • Hello dear Nicole, first, thank you very much for your wonderful comment. I always greatly appreciate feedback from you! It is very disappointing to see that today’s young generation exclude and radically separate chivalry with equality when both combined is a means of respect, kindness and politeness. I suppose we will have to get used to the various effects of digital dating on our life and relationships since technology will only improve itself and increase its importance in our lives. Once again, thank you for your comment and I invite you to have a look at this blogpost https://innoonesland.com/2015/03/22/fashion-giveaway-fad-app/. I am giving away free fashion apps code to 5 of my readers. You should definitely have a look at the details of this giveaway! Take care darling xo

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    • Thank you Alex! I greatly appreciate your feedback. As women, we need to set standards concerning how we ought to be treated in order for men to change. Please feel free to check out my other posts and leave comments. I always love reading what you have to say about my articles.

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    • Hi Alexandria! Thank you very much for your comment. I greatly appreciate your feedback. Us, as women, we need to define our standards and determine the way we ought to be treated in order for men to act accordingly. I invite you to have a look at this blogpost https://innoonesland.com/2015/03/22/fashion-giveaway-fad-app/. I am giving away free fashion apps code to 5 of my readers. You should definitely have a look at the details of this great giveaway! Take care xo

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  2. Wow I love this, wish every man could have a read of this. “Thus, women should definitely reexamine how they accept to be treated and define adequate standards for men to be likely to meet these standards in what they offer. Therefore, chivalry is not really dead, it just adapted itself to what being a lady has become today.” this is true to a great extend, I think due to the art of chivalry being lost with time, women have also forgotten of how they aught to be treated. Would love to re-blog this for my Wednesday theme. Love the part about ‘compliments being replaced with Instagram likes’ that alone can be an article on its own.

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    • Hi! Thank you very much for your amazing comment. I greatly appreciate your comment I am sorry for the delayed response. It is actually sad that women have lowered their standards in the fear of repulsing men and in order to be socially accepted. I would love you to re-blog this article. I hope it is not too late. Feel free to come back and look at my other articles and leave feedback. I invite you to have a look at this blogpost https://innoonesland.com/2015/03/22/fashion-giveaway-fad-app/. I am giving away free fashion apps code to 5 of my readers. You should definitely have a look at the details of this great giveaway! Take care

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